Isn't it crazy how you can be so sure of a plan that God has lain infront of you, and then 'poof' it's suddenly unclear, confused, and off-track.
I came to a crossroads. Do I choose to trust that God knew this would happen all along and He holds some other purpose in the experience for me, or do I give up and choose to feel abandoned and disappointed. In the past, I have chosen the latter, and for those of you who have tried it, you know where that gets you.... it's not a good place. So, I decided that this time I would mix it up a bit.
I choose to rejoice in the unplanned challenges that He gives me because I know it will only help me to grow in my relationship with Him. Afterall, unplanned just means that it wasn't planned by me - haha. For Evans' reading, you'll know how crazy this sounds, 'What, Andrea doesn't care if her life is planned or not? - that's insane. We plan! Evans' plan!' Haha.
Well, I'm boycotting. I've never tried this 'fly by the seat of my pants' thing that people are always talking about. Now, is as good a time as any. I don't have to plan where I'll be in 5 years, because I trust that God will lead me to the place He wants me to be - so long as I listen to Him. It's amazing - FREEDOM!!
Freedom from the planning, freedom from the anger and regret that I would usually let myself dwell in. Freedom from everything and everyone but Him. And really, He's the only one who matters.
To some of you, this may sound like jibberish. But, I know, and those who know me, will know, that this is HUGE!!!!
I choose to walk away from the situation, to walk away from all the bad emotions and feelings that accompany this situation. I choose, instead, to rejoice. Haha - how many people rejoice when they get dumped? I don't know - but I'm doing it and not because I wasn't happy or because I don't feel sad, but because I know that this means He has something even better planned for me. That's a great feeling.
If you want to pray for me, pray that I will be strong and courageous in my FAITH - that's all I need.
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2 comments:
Wow Andrea!!
It is soo encouraging to read about how God is working in your life. I've been praying for you alot, especially ever sinse the Alpha program. :-)
Luv ya
BreAnn
hey andrea,
first of all its aweosome to hear even a little of what's goin on in your life, i had the overwhelming feeling leavin last weekend like i didnt know you or yoru sister at all and it was kind of a bummer, although awesome to see you both nonetheless. Just read your blog about trusting in God and not planning and reassurance in knowing that there is a plan and whatnot, and its really encouraging to hear. I'm definately at teh same spot in a lot of areas, but it is reassuring to know that someone is at the wheel, even when we are not. I'll start praying that you are constantly comforted by this, and when you arent (cuz its bound to happen), that something will change that.
oh ps.
in your e-mail, you said love lovelove, thats my sign off, which i found very strange.
have a sweet day!
Alex Kloosterman
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